“I like this girl” – What really attracted me to my wife?

I got married on April 4, 1998: hands down one of the best decisions of my life. The past 14 years with my wife Jeanie have been amazing. While we’ve had our share of challenges, bumps, and doubts, I wouldn’t trade our marriage for anything.

So how did I get here? What really attracted me to Jeanie, and set her apart for me?

We first met in 1995 through our church. We spent time together with a common group of friends, and I got to know her first and foremost in this context. Through watching her interact with others I saw her heart for Jesus, and the way she served others. This peaked my interest, caught my eye, and made me think, “I need to get to know this girl more.”

Our relationship stayed at this level for the next year and a half while I was living in Germany. When I came home I was in the grip of major depression (a story for another time.) My entire life was upended: it took several months with medication and counseling to come out of this.

But one of the biggest factors in my healing was Jeanie. Out of all my friends, she was the one who was always there for me. She journeyed with me through all of the crap I was dealing with. I honestly still don’t know why, but she patiently waited for me to come around: no demands, no expectations, no presumptions.

During this time I think we were falling in love with each other. We shared our hearts, our struggles, and our joys. And she was just there for me: faithfully present and ready to help in whatever way she could. It was a picture of God’s heart towards me. It was stunningly beautiful. She was stunningly beautiful. I was (and still am) physically attracted to her, but the beauty of her heart is what captivated me.

In fact, I already knew I wanted to marry her.
(To be continued…)

So what about you?

If you’re married or engaged, what key attribute or characteristic attracted you to your wife/fiancé? What made you say, “I need to get to know this girl more?”

If you’re single, what are you looking for? Above everything else, what characteristic needs to be present in the woman you want to date and marry? What will make her truly beautiful to you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

– Seth Prince

2 thoughts on ““I like this girl” – What really attracted me to my wife?

  1. I would be considered single since Alissa and I are neither engaged nor married yet. But I can still reply with a comment.

    I knew her for a while before we ever had a romantic relationship. One day after youth group, I saw her in a new light. She seemed extra cute that day. We started talking more and became friends. I decided to pursue a dating relationship because I knew she had a pure heart. She worked at a nursing home (and enjoyed it), she had a tender heart for disabled people, and she loved babies and children (that’s attractive because I know from the way she interacts with them that she will be a good mother). Most importantly, I knew she was a devoted Christ follower. It was a great recipe for attracting me.

    I’ve got no incredible experience to report, we have only been dating for three halves of one year. Nonetheless, there is my story.


  2. Levi, I think that’s great. I’m a huge fan of spending time with the girl you’re interested in or dating not just one-on-one, but with groups of people.

    It’s amazing how much you can learn about a girl by watching her interact with others. Sounds like you’ve been doing just that!


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