The Women’s Bathroom Incident

I pried my eyes opening mustering every ounce of willpower I had. It took a lot of effort. It was Saturday morning, and I was at Spring Retreat, Hope’s church wide get-a-way. I had spent most of the night playing the card game 500, and did not want to get up. Alas, I had to pee. I figured that a shower would also help.

Assembling all of my stuff, I zombie walked into the bathroom. It was completely full of likeminded men seeking a shower. I didn’t want to wait. I had a brilliant idea: I would shower in the women’s bathroom.

To fully understand the genius of this idea I must describe the sleeping arrangements. The girls were all on one side of the camp, and the men were on the other. In my sleep-fogged brain, I figured that there would be no girls on this side of camp.

Walking over to the girl’s bathroom, I rapped on the door with my knuckles and called inside. No answer. A good sign. I called out louder as I entered. Still nothing. I began to pat myself on the back for this brilliant idea.

Slipping into the bathroom I felt like a king – I had a private bathroom at my disposal. It was great. I took my time showering, knowing there was no line forcing me to hurry. Things started to go downhill as I began to dry off.I heard the door open. Thoughts began to swirl through my mind. What if it was a girl who had come in to take a shower? Things could get really awkward, really fast. I began to rationalize this in my mind. I was sure that it was just another guy with my wonderful idea, but I figured I should call out, to make sure.”It’d be really awkward if a girl just walked in,” I called out.”What?”My heart leapt into my throat. That voice sounded awfully feminine.”Are you a girl?” I asked.

“Yeah,” came the response. Not good.

“Well, I’m a guy showering in your bathroom. I thought it’d be empty,” I hastily explained.

“Okay,” the girl said, “Well, you stay in there, I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

I stood, silent, naked, and wet in the shower stall, not even wanting to breathe. Was this really happening to me?

“I’m done,” the girl said, as I heard the running water of the sink as she washed her hands.

The next sound I heard was that of the door closing. I don’t know if I’ve ever put my clothes on quicker. Dressed, I quickly got out of there.

I’m not sure who the Spring Retreat Mystery woman was, but my friends haven’t let me live this down. In my defense, it seemed like a great idea at the time. It was only in practice that it all fell apart.

Now that I’ve shared my most embarrassing moment I feel like we know each other a little better. What’s your most embarrassing story?

 -Derek Hanisch

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One thought on “The Women’s Bathroom Incident

  1. Most embarrassing moment: I was around 8 or 9, playing soccer at church camp. Swim time was right after game time and I didn’t want to head back to the cabin for my swimming trunks, so I would wear my swim shorts under my wind pants so I could drop them and go. Well, the soccer game wrapped up and I dropped my wind pants. The breeze told me immediately that I had forgotten to put my swim shorts on. There I was in the middle of the soccer field in my tighty-whiteys. Oh yeah!

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